Get at me, boyz. ;-)

My baby’s being a tired little sass monster today.

I’ll update y’all (whomever is following, and whoever else stumbles upon my lovely little blurb).

• My best friend from high school, Emily, came to visit me on Friday night, saw my show, and stayed with me. We stayed up all night talking about anything and everything. I miss her so much. My friends liked her too, I think, which is a plus.
• Saturday night I went to a Zombie party- which was much needed, however, for certain reasons that shall remain unsaid, I am not a huge fan of the girl who hosted the party. I had my concerns about going, but I sucked it up and went anyways.

**I’m glad I went, it ended up being fun, I got very drunk (but controlled), then my friend Chen Chen picked me up and I went out to eat with her. Ran into a guy who was also in the play. He’s cute. Very cute. 

• My roommate is whiney, loud and disrespectful- and never. stops. eating. 
• The show I was in (“The Nature of Mutation”) has come to a close- It was a good run.
• I finished up our P.A.M. project with my partner- didn’t do a great job, but did all right enough.
• I made a bad decision two times in the past week and I can’t make it a habit.
• My mom kind of found out about me dropping my class. I’m going to be killed over Spring Break. Pray for me.

• I’m in the process of (not very successfully) trying to do what’s best for me about a certain situation. Which is very, incredibly complicated. I realize that I am the instigator usually, when it comes to making plans with all of my friends. I need to stop waiting around all night for them, only to have plans cancelled. If said person wants to hang out with me, they can make the effort just as well as I can. I am no longer going to be desperate to devote all of my time and attention to them. 
• I also need to speak my mind, not only when I’m drunk, but sober, as well.
  I’m so bad about this sort of thing.
  
  
• I also need to get back in shape. I’ve let myself go for a while and I’m completely disgusted with myself (that doesn’t sound depressing at all). I need to lay off the alcohol, junk food and laziness, and start working out on a regular basis again.
• Next year the BFA program is gong to kick my ass.

Anywho. I don’t know if this is everything, but it’s enough.

For a while, at least.

Back to my boring life.

P.S.sorry to jump on the bandwagon, but holy fuck is it beautiful outside. 

P.P.S. My favorite line of “The Nature of Mutation”:

“If you loved them, it doesn’t seem to matter when they go, does it?”

The whole thing. Breaks my heart.

is such a beautiful, beautiful thing.

I am so blessed.

….

(i’magirl).

:-)

**I haven’t been blogging really since I’ve moved back down to MKE, which is weird, so I’m going to take a little bit of time tonight to talk about things.**

I am extremely fortunate, in that I was paired with the perfect roommate for me.

We are polar opposites, but it works.

We’re both crazy.

She also is a very….sexual person. And I’m, well, not. It’s very hard to not make this situation sound weird on here, but you’re going to have to live with that. She isn’t a slut, by any means. She is in a committed relationship with a very kind guy, but she’s done some funky stuff, which always makes for interesting stories to tell my friends and I.

I’ve done an okay job balancing school work so far with maintaining my social life. I’ve had people over virtually every night since being back here, with the exception of tonight, which, even then, a few people dropped by to say hey.

I guess the only frustrating thing I’ve been having to deal with is my cunt of a suite mate, but I’m going to try not to talk about that and I’ll spare the whiney-ness.

ON ANOTHER NOTE:

The most important audition I’ve ever had to do is coming up real soon, as in, Saturday morning at 10. I’m slightly terrified. 

In all reality, I really have no reason to be scared. I guess I just feel nervousness from being over prepared (cue cocky hair flip). I’ve been practicing and perfecting my monologue for almost two months, which is insane. I’ve been practicing it so much, that I feel as if it lost its spark, which is really not good.

I just need to breathe. Relax.

Okay.

I’ve been working on improving my relationships with those around me, for the most part.

I feel as if the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder” is absolutely true.

Since returning from break, I feel that a few of my friends and I have grown closer than we ever have been. I definitely appreciate each and every one of them for being in my life. (Sorry for being so goddamn repetitive, but I am so fortunate). I’m done saying that now.

As far as improving myself goes, I need to have more of an open mind set about speaking my mind. 

I’m such a nice person, that it’s difficult to stand up for myself sometimes.

No bueno.

Also, if I ever want to peruse a relationship of any sort with a guy, I need to learn to tell them how I feel, rather than letting opportunity by opportunity pass me by.

Hm.

I’m just like one of the guys, so I’ve got a ways to go in the love department. (cue curtsy) Joking, that was retarded.

I make no sense.

So far, I’m enjoying my classes this semester. For the most part. 

AKA: I only like my acting class. 

P.A.M. can SMD, but even so, I really should start paying attention, or at least reading the book or looking over the slides. Stagecraft suuuucks. Not only do I hate virtually everyone in my class, but the work sucks so much. It’s not even laziness making me say this, but it just fucking…sucks. Out and About is all right, but I have zero friends in the class.

I’m going to go, but I’ll maybe update sometime soon.

Sorry for the novel.

Bonne soir.

Crazy…I go home on Saturday morning around 6 AM….

which means I have everything to pack up at some point tomorrow. Zzzzzz….

I got my cavit(ies) filled this morning. It was slightly terrifying, if I may say so.
First off, they found another cavity right behind my tooth with the cavity that they didn’t
know about earlier, for whatever reason. Then when the dentist was giving me the numbing thought, I thought I was going to burst into tears, it hurt so damn bad.
It felt like he pierced my whole fucking cheek. Then he disappeared and some other
woman came up to the female dentist with me, telling her that my entire dental
insurance account, or whatever, was completely drained from my wisdom teeth and
won’t renew until next January. This meant that the second cavity would amount to
$179 dollars out of my fucking pocket. NOT. HAPPENING.

They ended up just filling it, but halfway through the procedure (which was EXTREMELY
painful, by the way), the woman appeared again bitching about how there was no money
left, or whatever, and the man (mid-procedure) was like “IT’S ALREADY DONE, JUST
FORGET IT! FORGET IT!”. Man, was that comforting…an angry man drilling into my teeth.

Well, I’m pretty sure he did something bad because my top teeth KILL, which they
shouldn’t, because the bottom left side got worked on. And there’s a really painful
spot in my gums and cheek where he gave me the shot. I’m going to call tomorrow
if the pain doesn’t go away.

Talked to my roommate again for a while today; she wants me to show her the buildings and rooms her classes are in. She’s a transfer student. We seem like we’ll get along, so I’m actually super stoked to finally meet her.

Saturday night when everyone’s moved back in, my friends and I are going to have a party and just hang out, so hopefully my roommate will partake in the madness.

I finished shopping tonight for the necessities and such. I like shopping with my mom, that is, if we have a plan and know what we’re looking for. Plus, she’s kind of a coupon nut now, which I love because that means more stuff for us, while saving tons of money. She saved, like, $70 tonight! Crazy. I hope I can do that when I’m older because, as an actor, there won’t be too much money a-comin’-my-way.

I still have all of my packing to do tomorrow, which is going to be stressful.

I cancelled all of my plans for tonight because I knew it was the right thing to do. I needed to get my shopping done. It sucks because I might not be able to see Ryan tomorrow night, but hopefully I will, depending on my level of sleepiness and how much I have ready for Saturday morning.

Emily’s taking me out to lunch tomorrow so we get a chance to say goodbye properly. I really love her; I’m so fortunate to have her in my life.

Well. I can’t think of anything else to say.

Good night. 

Time flies by.

Got my wisdom teeth out this morning. Wasn’t bad at all. They fucked me up on laughing gas before putting the IV in, so I didn’t have a care in the world at that point. Apparently during the procedure I was laughing and singing to the doctors, so loudly, in fact, that the entire waiting room and office staff heard me and were laughing at me.

I was really out of it until a little bit after I got home.

Emily came over and watched TV and a couple of movies with me before my parents got home from work. She’s such a great friend.

I fell asleep around 5 after taking all of my pills and just woke up. It’s 8:54. 

Today is the one year anniversary of a friend of mine’s death due to suicide. It was nice to see that she is still in everybody’s thoughts, as she got many “I love you”s on her Facebook, etc. However, I received extremely sickening news today.

Some pathetic fucks at my high school were making bets today, apparently, as to who the next person to commit suicide would be. The people’s names they tossed around were legitimately emotionally troubled kids.

It devastates me, the measures some kids would go to, to make others’ lives hell. So sad.

I really hope that some serious measures were taken today because there have been 8 or so suicides in the past three years in the Kaukauna Area School District, and it is so heartbreaking. 

People need to grow a heart, for Christ’s sake.

Maybe I’m just going through a lonely phase, which is pathetic, but I think I’m ready to be in a relationship. I need to set my priorities straight, though, I guess.

I need to stop being such a guy.

I’m going to attempt to eat some cold soup and take some more meds to knock me out.

Good night.

Story of my life.

I woke up around 7, but the idea of waking up was so ridiculous that I went back to bed until 1:30, or so. Sad.

I went to the last two games of my sister’s basketball tournament, which was all right. They won second place, so I’m proud of her. 

Around 8 or so, I went to pick up my friend Ryan to go to Starbucks to meet David. We ended up going to Cold Stone instead.

(I was kind of worried that it would be weird with just us three because Dave and I were really close friends in high school, and we still are, but they never really were). It wasn’t weird at first, then there was an awkward period of time, then it went back to not being awkward (well, kind of). Basically…a very popular topic came into conversation.

Every time I come home to visit, David asks me if I am dating anyone (the same person is brought up every time). He always asks why I get upset when he digs into this because there’s no reason to be ashamed of liking someone, or simply being liked. I just get frustrated because he takes my good friendships, amongst other things, and twists them into something they aren’t, at least they are not yet. I would go into more detail, but I don’t want to dig myself into a hole here.

I was kind of frustrated because today was the third day I haven’t worked out and I feel like a sluggish piece of shit. I was doing pretty well. Between the exercise and the healthier food choices, I’ve already lost ten pounds. In the past three days, though, I feel like I fucked everything up.

I’m going to work out for at least an hour and a half tomorrow.

After Cold Stone, Ryan and I went to Walmart, where I got a fantastic cat shirt, along with two plain white tee shirts, and one white sweatshirt. I got iron on paper and we went back to his house to create.

I made one shirt for my friend Louisa, which is just too perfect. Our friend is going to kill us, but it is so worth it. Good thing he loves us.

My sweater…

Aaaanyways. My other tee shirt is just my pathetic party shirt.

I have a life. (No).

OH. Yesterday I found out that I officially have a roommate for the second semester. At first I had a mix of emotions because I have not experienced having a roommate for more than two weeks, which was fine even then, but you know, I am a worry wart. I also had the hangout room, which was really cozy and wonderful, but who knows, maybe it will still be that way.

Anyways, she looks like a person that I would get along with well. She looks nice.

I just don’t want her to think I’m a weirdo. I mean, I’m weird, but I’m a good, nerdy weird (at least I like to tell myself that). 

I laughed really hard because I saw she had a twitter and she tweeted something about people with Star Wars lunch boxes, etc… My best friend Emily has a Star Wars lunchbox.
(I creep with good intention). Ha ha ha.

I just watched an episode of HIMYM for the first time in three days. It makes me want to watch another one, but it’s 3:03 in the morning and I should probably get some sleep so I can get to bed early tomorrow night. 

I keep not realizing that I am getting my wisdom teeth out the day after tomorrow.

I am going to die. (No I’m not, I’m just being a drama queen).

but what if I do die? ffffuuuuccckkkk.

AH.

Good night.

or feel free to just send me a question!